grace music

Once upon a time…I used to sing, play instruments, and write music.

I started playing piano around the age of five. I remember composing music and entering competitions as a kid, and being awarded those congratulatory blue ribbons that they gave out to nearly anyone who mustered up enough courage to try. I never really pursued much beyond school shows or regional performances…I always considered it a bit of a pipe dream.

Then I started college as a Vocal Performance major at the University of Iowa School of Music (which is an outstanding program). I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to pursue music professionally, but I felt compelled to explore. However, I quickly learned that my comprehensive interest (in all there was to learn about the world) couldn’t tolerate such a narrow-focused curriculum.

The UI Music Program is INTENSE. It’s all music all the time. My curious mind had a voracious appetite for an all-encompassing liberal arts diet. So…I switched out of the music program to satisfy so many of those curiosities. While I don’t regret it, I sometimes miss having music as this all-consuming part of my life. It’s this odd combination of overwhelming, addictive, and the most alive you’ve ever felt.

I went along through life (as we all do) plugging away at a professional career, keeping music as a back-burner hobby. While I absolutely adored my job and had built an intensely fulfilling career I was passionate about…a part of me was left yearning. Mix in an insanely rough few years of life + a horrible breakup, and…well, ladies and gents, you’ve now got yourself a catharsis.

After shaking off the filth and stench of a bad run of luck, I got back into music. I started teaching myself how to play the guitar. It totally consumed me. I bought a $30 student guitar on eBay…then proceeded to spend 6-10 hours per day tinkering around. The moment I woke up in the morning, my hands would be all over it. The moment I got home from work every day, I’d stroll through these incessant, never-ending rabbit holes of music, tabs, chords, and YouTube videos of techniques. I couldn’t get enough. There is just something about music and heartbreak that goes together…and spending so much time teaching myself a new language from the ground up was extremely therapeutic for me.

This newfound passion for guitar and my rediscovery of music eventually led to what I call “my summer to remember”. You can read more about it here…but essentially, I abruptly decided to throw away the comfort of success and career to selfishly indulge in my creative side. I quit my job, spent every penny I had moving into a breathtaking downtown Los Angeles studio to become “an artist”. I know…how cliché.

In general, I’m a little bit obsessed with progress and even more obsessed with documentation. So along the journey, it was only natural that I made these extremely clumsy, ridiculously rudimentary videos to document my progress of teaching myself how to play guitar. They are funny for me to watch how awkward it was. Yet also nostalgic to remember how passionate I was about music…and inspiring to see the development of skill.

I remember elementary school when it came time to write down what you wanted to be when you grow up. I laugh to myself now whenever I recall…since I’d always jot down “aspiring singer / actress”.

Back then, I never knew what the word “aspiring” meant...it was just something I had always heard.

Well, now I've grown up…and among many other things, I guess I'm still aspiring.

To make an already long story not as long…I’ve been working on an intrinsically unique eclectic cover album on and off for about a decade…each cover with my own spin, of course. I have over a dozen half written compositions, audio clips of voice and piano harmonies of favorite songs I’ve re-worked into a different style.

There are a handful of originals sprinkled in. But, like so many things in my life, it’s all in a jumbled state of non-completion. There isn't a day that goes by without my scribbling down some random notes to myself potential new songs I'm dying to take a stab at...when I have time. I’m constantly jotting down lyrics, voice memo recording notes for harmonies, and thinking about how to reinvent music I love.

While I don’t have enough hours these days to spend much time on this passion…I reserve moments almost every single day to think about how I’d love to return to it.

Someday.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .